Ellie is walking!

Ellie turned 11 months old one week ago. She has been working on walking for a while but today she has felt confident to try it for longer then a couple steps.

Sisters

Two of a kind!

Our life is crazy. We go full speed everyday! It wouldn't be possible without help...

Robert has been working 11 hours day. Yikes... that is hard work, then he comes home and he is an amazing Dad in all ways. He is a big help around the house as well as a great cook. He enjoys his daughters and smiles every time he sees them. Yesterday, I even got to go away and visit Nicole while he stayed home with Hadley. He folded all the laundry and took Hadley out for some one on one time. They went for a drive on the ice and then went for lunch. They rented Cars 2 and fell asleep while watching it. After they woke up they went to Grandma and Papa's house to pick up Ellie. They ate dinner there and headed home. Once home they did bath time and he put Ellie to bed. I arrived home to Hadley and Robert hanging out. Ellie had just went down. It sounded like an amazing day.

We couldn't do what we do without the help from my Mom. She never says no to watching the girls, to the point where I feel guilty to ask. She volunteers her time to watch them while I go to work and school, as well as helps us when Robert is tired or I just need a cleaning break. She has those two cuties all the time and I mean it. Grandma's house is their second home. I really should convince her to decorate the second bedroom as theirs... ha ha! But, really Hadley and Ellie are so comfortable there. They love Grandma and they love going there, even when they have been over there a lot, they still love it. Grandma is wonderful, she enjoys her granddaughters. She loves to spend time with them alone too. They are spoiled!

Hadley and Ellie are so loved by everyone they encounter. They are hard not to love, their gorgeous blue eyes and their silly ways. They are very busy little gals and they keep everyone their with on their toes. They are very smart girls too. Tonight Hadley pulled a sneaky move and it just proves that her brain works and the neurons click. She planned her night out on the car ride home from Grandma's house. She said, "Mommy when we get home we are going to eat dinner, take a bath and have a snack, a curious George snack." Those are fruit snacks. Anyway, I said, sure... sounds great. When we got home, we had a little issue... Hadley decided she didn't like her shoes and took them off and threw one towards me and it missed me by an inch. I got the harsh tone out and reminded her who's boss and told her to go to her room for a timeout. After a couple minutes I headed up there and we discussed what happened, she knew what she did, but she wouldn't tell me what happened. She then proceeded to say she wanted to take a bath... sure, works for me... so I gave Hadley and Ellie a bath and got them dressed in their PJ's. On our way downstairs, she said, now I can have a George snack. I called her a sneaky fox and she said I'm not a fox. I said, well you are a sneaky Hadley then. I couldn't believe her, she knew that after her bath she was going to get her fruit snack. So I said she could have two pieces and have the rest after dinner. As soon as she ate her dinner, she got her fruit snacks and went to her room to play. What a sneaky fox!

First time for everything

So I am ready for my first NOC shift and it is my first shift off orientation. I hope it all goes well. In order to prepare for tonight, I tried to take a nap around 4pm but I just couldn't fall asleep. I rested at least. Then I left Ellie at my Mom's and Hadley and I came home around 8pm. I got my stuff ready and then I went to bed. I got up at 10pm. My internal clock woke me up at 9:30pm thinking it was time but then I realized I had a precious half hour left. So here's to hoping I can muster up the stamina to stay alert until 7:30am. Off I go!

It was sunny!

Today we had a great day. The girls and I woke up at 7am. Then we just hung out... I tried to do a little of this and a little of that. But, mostly I spent the day with the girls.
We went for a little walk after nap time and it was sunny and 30 degrees. There was a little chill in the air. We walked to the grocery store and picked out something special. First it was swedish fish, but then those were traded in for cheese puffs. After we checked out we spent 20 minutes at the orange park. Then off home to eat some cheese puffs and have some sprite. The girls were really good today. Ellie went down for two naps by herself and Hadley changed outfits by herself three times. She is really into clothes lately. For dinner we had ham, mashed potatoes, gravy and peas. Ellie loved everything. Hadley ate half of her meal. She was probably somewhat full from her snacks. Now Hadley and I are watching a little Tangled and then we are going to go to bed.

Pudding Face

Do I put makeup on for this?

Here I am ready to go to work, yes, it is almost 2am. I have a bowl of cereal and am waiting for a cup of joe to help me get started. I have my last icky orientation shift today and that is 2:30am to 11am. This shift doesn't exist in the world of hospitals, it is typically 11pm to 7:30am but with our orientation schedule they break the Noc shift up into two different shifts, since apparently one doesn't really learn all that much on a full Noc shift.
So I know that nursing is 24 hour care and I don't mind if I have to do this, I just don't want to do it all the time... Ha ha you might say, when I tell you down the road, that my schedule is all Nocs... but hopefully that is a last resort.
Anyway, I question myself everyday about this journey. I have had my second breakdown of tears and I know as I stated before that those tears will flow along the way. I mainly question if the timing is right, considering these are the younger years for Hadley and Ellie and I really don't want to miss them. I asked my Mom that same question last night and she said that I wasn't missing them, that every free moment I have outside of work and school I spend with them. I took that as I make sure I take time to be with them, for as you all know they are the very reason why I am doing this.
So Happy Valentines Day and of course I put makeup on for this!

It is heart month

Our little Ellie has two front teeth. They finally poked through a week ago at 10.5 months old. We are happy because with their poking through Ellie seemed to have a constant fever. But, of course after the teeth were through she caught a cold. She has quite the smokers cough... so does Hadley, as well as myself. It has certainly been anything but boring around our house.

Last week we spent Saturday morning at Grandma's house doing hair and then we had the Adickes benefit and the Christensen house warming party to attend. Sunday we spent the morning relaxing and went to Grandma and Papa's house for the super bowl. Then the busy week began... I had to work three evening shifts, Robert got sick and needed two days off of work. With that I didn't think this weekend was ever going to come.

But it did and sadly it is almost over. Robert and I went to Lion King and had a great night downtown. We loved the show and loved our dinner. Lion King brought tears to both Robert and I. We were amazed by the performance!

Hadley spent the night at Auntie Michelle's house. They went to Candy Land, Chuck E Cheese, shopping and swimming at the YMCA. Hadley was a good little girl and at Target she picked out a Cinderella barbie doll. She also picked out some flip flops from Children's Place, she must know that spring is around the corner. Auntie Michelle made sure to tell her that they were for summer time. She also fell in love with her new night gowns. She had to wear one today at nap time. Although she didn't fall asleep. On our way down to the cities yesterday, Hadley was looking up at the sky out the window and she said, "It is a scratch." I was thinking that there was a scratch on the window. But, she was looking at the exhaust from a jet and was calling that a scratch. Too adorable! Ellie spent the night with Grandma and Papa. She did well. She got some great one on one time. She now knows she has two new front teeth and her new look is straight lips because she is busy rubbing her bottom teeth on her top teeth. She still cruises around furniture and only takes a couple steps from one item to another. She can stand all by herself. She loves to look out the windows, and today we took her for a quick stroller ride and as she was sitting there, she kept her hat on which is amazing but her little feet were dangling and she was swinging them up and down. It was so cute...She loves being outside!

Lastly, it is heart month. This week is CHD week and I haven't done much to really generate awareness except post some stuff on FB. But, it is so unreal to think that a year ago I was pregnant and had no idea that I would be part of the CHD family. I am thankful for the modern technology that is out there saving all these broken hearts. Ellie is a strong girl and she has endured more in her little life then all of us. And her determination shows in her personality. She knows what she wants and she will go get it and if by chance that item is dog food and I happen to beat her to it first, she gets mad and screams... hopefully the screaming stops but the determination continues. She is going to be our little scrapper! I can tell.

So I was just about to go to bed when I saw Hadley stirring. I walked into her room and calmly said, "Mommy is here." Then she just laid back down and fell asleep. These are the moments that shake your core. I looked at her sleeping and I wondered, where did the time go? She is three already, wow! In another three years she will be six and in another she will be nine and in another she will be filling out this bed like I am now. I began to wonder, will she cuddle with me? Will she hate me? Will she need me? All I know is that there is no greater feeling than being a Mom. Sure, it is hard to always be number two, and now in my case number three. BUT... it is so gratifying to have endless love. So as I looked at Hadley, tears started in my eyes and I couldn't explain why. I just think I am utterly grateful to have her in my life