I am feeling...

Excited
Scared
Nervous
Anxious
Sad

Here we are...
Last night at 625 Main.

The house echos, everything gone except beds, few clothes and couple kitchen things.
Tomorrow we move everything and clean. Tuesday we close.
We will live with Papa and Grammi for a few weeks.

Should be fun!

3 years

Ellie turned 3 on March 22nd!

As we all know time flies... and it has been 3 years since Ellie was waiting for surgery to fix her heart. I cannot be more gratetful and thankful for this little being to be in our lives. She is a lot like her sister and looks up to Hadley in every way but she is also very much herself. She is funny, really funny. She can make me laugh so hard. She has this cute voice and she knows how to carry out her words to make them sound funny. She loves to say the word, "WHAT?"... and again she carries out the word.
She is spontaneous, she changes her moods often and she is strong. Her strength is what help her out 3 years ago and continues to help her today. She still wants to be a baby at times and longs to be held and wants those cuddles. She loves to sleep. She is our child that will sleep in as long as she can. She doesn't really want to go to bed early but loves to sleep in.

Of course our life is in limbo now as it was then... this time the limbo is nothing compared to what we endured emotionally 3 years ago. But, unfourtunantly we haven't moved out of our home yet. Maybe that is good, maybe we needed a little more time here before we say goodbye. We now close on the 15th of April which I am hoping is going to stay that way. Funny as we left Children's with Ellie on the 16th of April, of course limbo continued with her for a bit as it will continue with us for a bit yet too.

Those days with Ellie in the Children's make me a better person. I realize that life isn't always sunny and 70 as it can be cloudy and rainy and to just make the best of it (I am sometimes not that good at that)

A quick bite for pizza... Daddy picked out the cake.

It has made me more compasionate and has given me the empathy I need to be a better nurse. I now find it easier to be in the families shoes. In my line of work I occasionally comfort family, when a resident is on comfort cares or we have a new family arrives with a loved one who has been victim of a stroke.  It is not often in LTC but it is still needed.

Ellie got to open a present. A Frozen swimsuit!

Lastly, I feel horrible at this time because we haven't even nailed down a date for Ellie's 3rd birthday. I am hoping I can put something together soon but with this house thing, our days have been numbered. On her actual birthday we went out for pizza and had a cake, sang the song, did the candles, gave her a gift. We just has us, Pat, Andrew, Grandma and Grandpa there. It wasn't her real deal... she really wants a flower themed birthday this year and maybe it is the the Lord telling me that it is too early to have a real flower theme party, He is saying the buds must be blooming. I love you Ellie James Heinsen so much. Thanks for being such a wonderful little girl.