Eight months!

Dear Ellie -
It is hard to believe that eight months have passed by already. It was just yesterday you were born in a winter blizzard. With the first snow fall this past weekend it reminded me of the beginning of you... I think snow will always remind me of our first meeting. You were born just before 4pm on March 22, 2011. It was a calm day but the storm was about to come. Little flakes began to fall around 5pm and then it hit, a huge winter storm that brought not inches but feet. The morning after you were born, everyone was late to the hospital, the schools were closed, the clinics shut down. It was a day off for everyone. I like to think it was in honor of you!

Now... 32 weeks later... we get our first snow fall.
It brightened the bleak fall world we are in and made everyone happy. It made me happy! It made your sister happy and at eight months made you happy too... if anything you were just happy we were all home together for the entire day. And, you didn't need to get strapped into that car seat until Monday.

So little Ellie Bell you are now crawling around and looking around as you pull yourself up to stand on anything you can. It is amazing that you are right where you should be even after spending 16 days in the hospital and OH surgery. When people say that little ones are so resilient, it is true, you were not affected in the least after what you went through. Sure we had to deal with meds for a while and some anxiety which caused restlessness, but now, eight months later you are 100% and I like to say 110% cause I am your Mommy.

So little Ellie, even though you are number 2, you have given me many firsts and for that I am so thankful.
I am now a Mom of two because of you!
I had the most Awesome birth experience because of you!
I am stronger because of you!
I am closer to my family more then ever because of you!
I am more grateful because of you!

As snow flakes fall we began to see the dirt go away, we begin to see the world come clean again, we begin to imagine and wonder how we can roll around in it! Everything happens for a reason and you are what makes us a family... I know I have said this before but you were the missing link... and, now we are complete because of you! Thank you Ellie for being a smiley, silly, happy, inquisitive, lively little eight month old! We love you more then to the moon and back!

Shoppping, Standing, Sleeping

Hadley's first Merry Go Round ride!

Good Morning from two of my favorite little gals!

Ellie pulls herself up to stand now. Watch out!

Last weekend we went to the Mall of America. We had a fab lunch at the Rainforest Cafe, then spent the day shopping and riding rides at Nick. Auntie Michelle brought Hadley her winter coat at the Children's Place along with some cute outfits for the girls. We were there for about 7 hours I think. One very cute moment was when I was looking for jeans at the Express, Auntie Michelle took the girls to get a cookie. This was about 3ish... the girls were a little tired and I got a phone call that Ellie just wouldn't stop crying... so I put my jeans at the counter and went to the hallway... I looked for Michelle and saw here coming. I met up with her and Ellie was crying and Hadley was sleeping with a full Mrs. Fields cookies in her hand. I think maybe only one bite out of it, it was the cutest thing ever. Michelle was pushing the stroller so fast to meet me... she just fell asleep. I nursed Ellie to sleep and put her in the stroller and back I went to shopping.

Ellie can crawl or move... It is scary now, you put her down and away she goes to find something better. She also pulls herself up to stand on things, which is down right scary because she doesn't understand the concept of letting go equals falling... often she lands on her butt.

Poop update: She is regular now... every morning is a blow out!

Kids

So lately I have been extra worried and sensitive to heart issues because our friends have been on a very bumpy journey with their 4 month old son Leif. On one of my posts to them I wrote that I was close to getting in the car and driving down so I could "tag" one of them out for a little break, just a moment to take their hurt away.

I never want to be in that position again...
So I always remind Hadley to be extra careful especially when going up and down the stairs. This morning she was walking up the stairs holding the railing and she said, "Look at me Mommy!" I said, "Wow you are doing a great job, just be careful, you are Mommy's special girl." She said, "Okay Mommy I won't die." It took my breath away.

It is amazing how much we love our children, so much more then ourselves. I often wonder what I did with my time before I had kids, I really must have been bored. They bring so much joy and happiness into my life that I just don't know what I would do without ever knowing that feeling. There are those days where I need to run as far and as fast from my children because they are driving me nuts, especially those awful tantrum days.

But I wouldn't trade it in for anything... I love everything about them.

The ups and downs of it all!

I can't sleep

Ellie with prunes on her face this Deer Hunting morning. Look close you can see a tooth!

Well maybe it is because there are four people in my bed right now...
Maybe it is because Ellie hasn't pooped in a week...
Maybe it is because some friends of our recently set the date for their son's OH surgery...
Maybe it is because I just can't sleep...

Not really sure, but once my brain starts thinking it is hard to turn off without getting all the thoughts out.

Poop:
I have tried everything. Ellie is stuck and she just can't get it out. I am currently resorting to rectal stimulation to coax the poop out... I got a little out yesterday morning. All day I worried, I even called the doctor and she said I am trying everything.
We knew Ellie was have trouble a week ago, so Monday I decided to pull all foods that cause constipation, up leg pumping and massage. Nothing happened. I added prune juice and apple juice to her diet, still nothing. I tried a suppository Tuesday afternoon, still nothing. I asked some friends Wednesday night at church what to do and Maggie suggested Miralax, Margie said she would have to help break up the poop with Claire. So Thursday morning I got some Miralax and gave Ellie her first dose. Nothing...
Friday morning came too soon, as Ellie and I both didn't sleep well. I am thinking she is starting to feel uncomfortable and she also cut another tooth. So we were behind... but I decided to resort to rectal stimulation as that is what most of my friends on facebook suggested. And, I saw some poop. So I was able to so to speak, "dig some out," until Ellie didn't want me to anymore. I got about a tablespoon out. I know there is more in there. Thus bringing us back to the question, "am I doing everything?"
The doctor said yes, she said to continue with RS and use my pinky finger with lubrication. I did that yesterday again and nothing...
So I decided to try a different suppository, the kind where you put it in the rectum and it breaks down. The box said that it should work within the hour. I gave it to her at 9pm and I did notice some farting but no explosion. We went to bed at 10pm and here I am now... typing. Ellie is sleeping, hopefully not in a poopy diaper. I don't think so, because once she gets the hard stool out she is going to have a ton of really soft stool because of her diet the last week and the Miralax. So hopefully we have a diaper explosion today.

Open Heart Surgery:
I have felt a little more emotional since Maggie told me Wednesday that they scheduled Leif's surgery for Friday, Nov. 11th. I have known that he was supposed to have surgery to correct his TOF defect but now knowing what is upon them, it just breaks my heart. They are one week from having Leif's heart fixed, of which will stop them from the worry they have had to live with everyday since he was born four months ago. However, to get to that point, the journey will be challenging at least initially. No one wants to sit and wait while their child is in surgery. He is a strong little boy and I know that he will be just fine, I know that Maggie and Jay will be fine. But, I do not wish this upon any parent. I pray they find out what causes CHDs in babies so no other parent has to worry about OH surgery on their child, or has to sit for hours while waiting for their child to be done with OH surgery. I pray for this because to be a mother and sit by your child's bedside after OH surgery and not be able to do anything to soothe them is so unbearable. When I think about what lies ahead of them it brings tears to my eyes and I just wish I could take it away. I guess God doesn't hand these learning opportunities to just anyone. He gives them to those who are strong enough to handle them.
So with that looming ahead, it has brought back the emotions that I went through with Ellie. I don't walk around crying or anything, but I have been thinking more about what we went through and remembering how I felt. Usually everyday I think about something from those 16 days, it is hard not too because I am reminded daily by the little blessing named Ellie and by her scar. Her scar has healed so well but it is there and it does remind me that she is a gift and that our lives are a gift and we need to treasure every moment because we don't know when those gifts will be taken away. God also doesn't just give those scars to anyone either.
I know I have grown a lot after going through those 16 days with Ellie at Children's. I am more thankful, thoughtful and my faith has really grown. I feel like I was handed my miracle. But, I also know that being the mom of a heart baby brings challenges too... I worry more then before, about Ellie, about Hadley, about the little things... like something as simple as Hadley playing on a swing set... I think "oh no, I don't want her to fall." That is because now I know that things happen to everyone, it doesn't matter who you are.  I have been through the wonder of "is everything going to be okay with my child," and I don't want to do that again, ever! So now after going through those days along with the stronger faith comes stronger worry but I guess they even each other out.

Sleep:
Back to that... maybe I can fall asleep now. I will grab Ellie and probably go sleep in Hadley's bed. Oh wait I don't have to do that... Robert just got up for deer hunting.
Good night!

Trick or treat!

So I am not sure who was happier to go out and about trick or treating... Hadley or Robert? Last night, it was so cute... Robert came home from work beyond happy. He was excited to extend his help in the Halloween festivities. We decided to eat dinner... then it was time to get Hadley ready again, to go out in the neighborhood trick or treating. This was a first for us, as in the past we have just handed out candy. But, this year that was lame... not many trick or treaters. I was bummed.
Robert and Hadley walked through our neighborhood. They had a great time. They came home and warmed up...then back out again! Robert took her by car to a few more places! She was all about it... yes more candy! It was so cute. Thanks for such a great night of memories. I wasn't expecting such a funny and memorable night. I know, the pink kitty will be passed down to your sister. Hopefully she will live up to the excitement!
We love you little Hadley our "aka" Pink Kitty!
We also love our little bat, she was hoping to fly out with her sister but too early for that...
Night!